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Song 11: One Way or Another (Blondie, Greatest Hits)

"One way, or another, I'm gonna find ya

I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha. . ."

Quite a little stalker song, eh? So I joined facebook a couple of weeks ago, and naturally one of the first things I did was look up old boyfriends or fellas I had a crush on back in the day. Here's how it went:

P: Fourth grade crush. Went to school with him from elementary through high school. He's now a single doctor living in Colorado who regularly participates in triathalons and adventure races in places like Indonesia. Wow. Considering adding him as a friend even though his status updates are probably like: "P ran 30 miles this morning before saving 2 lives" and mine are like "is thinking about buying a new vacuum."

Other P: Sixth through Tenth grade crush. Not on FB. But his sister is, and she's friends with my SIL (who finally stopped ignoring me and accepted my friend request. Allegedly, she just hadn't been on FB in a while. Suuuuure.).

C: Senior year of high school boyfriend. We broke up to go to different colleges, and he became best friends with a guy I went to high school with so I've randomly seen him a few times over the years. (Including one very memorable time when neither of us was dating anyone and we totally made out.) He's living in Austin and seems to have a girlfriend but I don't think they're married. If there was anyone on this list who I was considering contacting with the idea of dating, it would be him. He is just as cute as ever. Don't know if I'll contact him or not. Also, there is one thing that isn't so stellar about C that I'm a little ashamed to admit: if I did contact him and he was single and we started dating and fell in love and got married, I would feel bad about having to seriously consider changing my last name to his because his last name is awful.

D: Apparently, his name is more common that I though. He's on page 11 of dudes with his name. Wow. Freshman year of college boyfriend. I wouldn't recognize him if he walked past me on the street, he looks so different. I only knew it was him for sure because I remembered his sister's name. She's in Austin, he doesn't list a city. Probably won't get in touch with him, unless I get a really wild hair.

R: Sophmore year of college boyfriend. Not on FB, probably in jail.

K: Sophmore year of college crush. Doesn't seem to be married, but does seem to be dating the girl he was dating in college when I had a crush on him. Although, he has a type, so it could just be some other blonde. Lives in Dallas, likely won't get in touch.

S: Junior year of college boyfriend. Can't find him, possibly because of a somewhat common name. I know his sister's name, too, but that didn't help. Won't contact him--he thought it would be okay to ask me for one of my friend's numbers after he dumped me and that is just not cool. (I am not bitter, though I was at the time.)

T: Senior year of college crush. Couldn't remember his last name until I recognized him on the friend list of an old friend's little brother who I am not FB or real life friends with (and that is a whole 'nuther story, actually). T lives in Georgia and looks exactly like Luke Wilson now. I didn't know it would be possible for him to be hotter than he was in college, but hubba hubba. He seems to be single. He was a little mean to me when he found out I had a crush on him, so I won't be getting in touch with him. (He'd probably be like, "Who??")

K: Fella I married, and who is divorcing me a little over 4 years later. In fact, our divorce is final on Thursday. I knew he was on FB, he doesn't know that I am. I doubt he would look for me under my maiden name, or even at all. If he did find me and ask to be FB friends (since he keeps telling me he wants to be friends in real life), I would say no.