Tuesday, March 31, 2009

11 of 25

Song 11: One Way or Another (Blondie, Greatest Hits)

"One way, or another, I'm gonna find ya
I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha. . ."

Quite a little stalker song, eh? So I joined facebook a couple of weeks ago, and naturally one of the first things I did was look up old boyfriends or fellas I had a crush on back in the day. Here's how it went:

P: Fourth grade crush. Went to school with him from elementary through high school. He's now a single doctor living in Colorado who regularly participates in triathalons and adventure races in places like Indonesia. Wow. Considering adding him as a friend even though his status updates are probably like: "P ran 30 miles this morning before saving 2 lives" and mine are like "is thinking about buying a new vacuum."

Other P: Sixth through Tenth grade crush. Not on FB. But his sister is, and she's friends with my SIL (who finally stopped ignoring me and accepted my friend request. Allegedly, she just hadn't been on FB in a while. Suuuuure.).

C: Senior year of high school boyfriend. We broke up to go to different colleges, and he became best friends with a guy I went to high school with so I've randomly seen him a few times over the years. (Including one very memorable time when neither of us was dating anyone and we totally made out.) He's living in Austin and seems to have a girlfriend but I don't think they're married. If there was anyone on this list who I was considering contacting with the idea of dating, it would be him. He is just as cute as ever. Don't know if I'll contact him or not. Also, there is one thing that isn't so stellar about C that I'm a little ashamed to admit: if I did contact him and he was single and we started dating and fell in love and got married, I would feel bad about having to seriously consider changing my last name to his because his last name is awful.

D: Apparently, his name is more common that I though. He's on page 11 of dudes with his name. Wow. Freshman year of college boyfriend. I wouldn't recognize him if he walked past me on the street, he looks so different. I only knew it was him for sure because I remembered his sister's name. She's in Austin, he doesn't list a city. Probably won't get in touch with him, unless I get a really wild hair.

R: Sophmore year of college boyfriend. Not on FB, probably in jail.

K: Sophmore year of college crush. Doesn't seem to be married, but does seem to be dating the girl he was dating in college when I had a crush on him. Although, he has a type, so it could just be some other blonde. Lives in Dallas, likely won't get in touch.

S: Junior year of college boyfriend. Can't find him, possibly because of a somewhat common name. I know his sister's name, too, but that didn't help. Won't contact him--he thought it would be okay to ask me for one of my friend's numbers after he dumped me and that is just not cool. (I am not bitter, though I was at the time.)

T: Senior year of college crush. Couldn't remember his last name until I recognized him on the friend list of an old friend's little brother who I am not FB or real life friends with (and that is a whole 'nuther story, actually). T lives in Georgia and looks exactly like Luke Wilson now. I didn't know it would be possible for him to be hotter than he was in college, but hubba hubba. He seems to be single. He was a little mean to me when he found out I had a crush on him, so I won't be getting in touch with him. (He'd probably be like, "Who??")
K: Fella I married, and who is divorcing me a little over 4 years later. In fact, our divorce is final on Thursday. I knew he was on FB, he doesn't know that I am. I doubt he would look for me under my maiden name, or even at all. If he did find me and ask to be FB friends (since he keeps telling me he wants to be friends in real life), I would say no.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

10 of 25

Song 10: Again (Lenny Kravitz, Greatest Hits)

Lately, I've been thinking about someone I will never see again.

I met M in 1996, in class at UT. It was a small class, and the first night we went around the room introducing ourselves. During his introduction, he mentioned his "partner," who was living and working out of state. Later, a few folks from the class--strangers until that evening--decided to get drinks at nearby bar. I went, and M was part of the group. Someone in the group mentioned that they thought it must be difficult for M to have a long-distance relationship, and what did his partner do? How long had he lived out of state? Would M be joining him there after graduation at the end of the semester? Turns out M's partner was a woman with a man's name, and we all laughed and laughed over our assumptions.

I got to know a few people in the class, and our small group of 5 or so became close. We'd regularly go drinking on Wednesday nights after class, and end up hanging out most other nights of the week, too. Slowly, through conversations about everything from math (his major, my lack of advanced skills) to roommates (my crazy one, his cute one I was crushing on), we became best friends.

Of course we flirted a little, sometimes. He liked to announce that he was certain we'd been married in another life, and I liked to tease him about how all the girls in our class were jealous that he wasn't spending time with them. I almost never thought about being attracted to him in a romantic way--not that he wasn't handsome. He was exactly my height, with flaming red hair that he liked to rake his hands through when he was tired or exasperated. But he had his on/off girlfriend living out of state, and I was dazzled by his roommate who was tall and ignored me.

Our small group started celebrating the end of the semester early. Actually, since we were out of class, we just started drinking before the sun went down. One night, we'd been drinking mint juleps for a couple of hours and decided we needed to put our feet in the ocean. Our buddy S was the most sober of the crew, and he volunteered to drive. Four of us piled into his car with bottles of wine and a cooler of beer and set off into the night. I sat in the back with C, my only girlfriend in the group, and we giggled and gossiped while the boys up front had their own conversation. It was dark by then, and the windows were down. I had no idea where we were going, or what time we'd get there. The world beyond the car didn't exist for me. We passed the bottles of wine around, with only S abstaining. M asked C to switch seats with him; he told her that he wanted to talk with me for a while.

The car was loud with the wind streaming in off the highway. M and I sat with our heads close together, laughing about our crazy adventure. We were probably telling jokes and refusing to hand the wine bottle up to the front seat. C kept turning around to try and join in our conversation, but we refused to shout so she could hear us. Eventually, we ignored her and she gave up.

M got quiet not long after that. He stared at me like he was trying to see through me. I started to ask him what was wrong, but he cut me off with a kiss. I kissed him back without thinking--a long, passionate kiss. When our faces broke apart, my shocked look must have mirrored his own. He started quietly apologizing and we scooted apart to seperate corners of the back seat.

My mind was reeling. M was my best friend! Holy crap the kiss was amazing! But. . .the girlfriend? And how very drunk am I! Was our friendship over? What was he thinking? What was he thinking NOW?

We stopped at a gas station to fill up, and C and I went to the ladies room. She quizzed me about what was going on in the back seat--she'd seen us kiss. She asked many of the same questions I'd asked myself, finally realizing neither of us had answers. When we went back to the car, M was already sitting in the front seat. So that's how it is now, I thought. I began to consider that I may have lost him.

But not long after we got back on the highway, M asked C to switch again. She told him she'd switch for a kiss. He looked at me, turned to her, and kissed her on cheek. They climbed over the seats again, and he settled in next to me just like before. I wanted to talk to him about what had happened, but all I could manage was "hey."

And then he was kissing me again. We kissed the rest of the way to the beach. We kissed standing in the pitch black ocean, stumbling in the uneven sand as we tried to find our way in the dark back to the car. We kissed in the car until we passed out just before sunrise. We only ever kissed.

Back in the real world, we never talked about what happened. We started to drift apart and talk less now that we didn't see each other in class. The girlfriend was on again, and moving back to Austin. Eventually, we didn't talk at all.

I saw him a couple of times over the next few years. I was friends with his brother, who was with me the night I met my future husband. I heard that M married the girlfriend and moved back to where she'd lived on her own for a year. I kept up with our mutual friends, meeting up for drinks occasionally. I heard that M and the wife moved back to Austin, and I saw and talked to him a couple of times when we accidentally ended up in the same places.

Then M died in 2001. By then, I'd fallen out of touch with the entire group from class. Except S, whose name I'd run across a few months earlier. We'd emailed a few times and met for drinks a once or twice. We never really talked about that semester, though. S was the one who told me. He'd left me a couple of voicemails one day while I was at work, asking me to call him as soon as I could. He told me that M killed himself. I didn't believe him, and he didn't believe it, either. He thought that M may have accidentally OD'd. I never knew M to take anything stronger than asprin. The M I knew loved his life.

I didn't attend the funeral, or the wake. I never heard from S again, and I didn't pursue contact with him, either. I'd called C after S told me the news, because he asked me to. I hadn't talked to her in at least a year and we simply didn't talk again after the call.

Earlier this week, I was in the cafeteria of the building next door pouring my usual afternoon iced tea. On my way out, a fella in a brown suit caught the door in front of me and held it open. As I looked up to say "thanks" I recognized S. But I just kept walking.

9 of 25

Song 9: King of the Road (Roger Miller, Swingers Soundtrack)

This song gets stuck in my head really easily. I just have to see the title, and there it goes. Same thing for certain other songs--I don't know how or why, but if I even see the name of a certain dry cleaner in Austin, or a particular sub shop with an annoying special, there goes their song in my head. Sometimes it lasts for days.

I like to share whatever song is stuck in my head with my co-workers. Not by singing it, of course, but I like to spread ear-worm misery like that. They get me back, though. One guy periodically asks me to guess where he's headed after work. The cleaners with the head-sticking jingle, of course. Argh!!

Monday, March 23, 2009

8 of 25

Song 8: The Waiting (Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Greatest Hits)

"The waiting is the hardest part. . ."

Seriously, this could be my personal motto right now. I'm in a period of transition in my life, and part of that transition is finding a house to buy. I've been looking since the end of January, and I've looked at every house in the area I'd like to live (a 3 - 4 zip code zone in north Austin/south Round Rock) with no luck. There have been a couple of houses that I've been initially excited about, but then they ended up not being The House for one reason or another. For example, I'd like a house with a master bathroom large enough where I don't have to stand in the shower to close the bathroom door. And I don't think it's too much to ask to want a kitchen with more cabinets than my last college apartment.

According to my very patient and helpful realtor, in the next six weeks there will be tons of houses listed that might work for me. I am SO ready to move on, and I'm sick of waiting. Meanwhile, I'm stalking all the house listings I can find. There is a house that I saw last week that I'm going to have to seek out in person--the address isn't included in the listing. Looks like I'll be driving around my favorite neighborhood (which is HUGE) to see if the mystery house is in an area I'd like. Sure, the house is $3000 higher than the high part of the range I've been looking in, but we're in a recession, right? (And why not ask my realtor to find an address? I want to find out on my own what the street is like and how the house appraises before I waste time with a showing. Might as well not get my hopes up if the houses all around it are crappy.)

But! I'm also trying to use this process as a learning experience. Too often, I settle for something that's almost right or not quite right just because I get irritated or frustrated with the wait/search. (The contents of my closet are an excellent example of that problem.) Also, as a person who loves to plan and know what's next, this is a good opportunity for me to try and relax a little bit and not stress out about knowing where I'm going to live next. If my current house sells before I find a new one, I'll deal with it; I have options. Personal growth. . .it's like I'm an actual adult or something.

Friday, March 20, 2009

7 of 25

Song 7: Blame (Doyle Bramhall II & Smokestack, Welcome)

I decided to use Lent as a time to try and not blame someone in my life--and to try and forgive them--so I can't really go where this song leads me.

Instead, I'll say that at about 5'8"ish, Doyle Bramhall II is short, compared to me. I'm 5'10" barefoot, and I tend to enjoy wearing heels. Today's heels, for example, are a pair of 3-inch Nine West Mary Janes I bought a few years ago. They're actually quite comfortable, especially since I'm wearing a pair of pants I need hemmed. . .which would otherwise be totally dragging the ground.

Is it any wonder that "tall" is close to the top of my "Perfect Guy" list? The shortest fella I ever dated was in college, and he was 5''11". I just generally don't find men who are shorter than six feet tall attractive. They make me feel like a giant, and I prefer someone with whom I can feel like a normal-sized human.

Monday, March 16, 2009

6 of 25

Song 6: Jungle Love (Steve Miller Band, Greatest Hits 1974 - 78)

". . .it's drivin' me mad; it's makin' me crazy. . ."

In honor of song number six, I'll list six things that are currently annoying the beejezus out of me:

1. Someone I work with makes popcorn every day about 3pm. Our entire office area (30 offices + 20ish cubicles) smells like popcorn, and people who come in for meetings actually comment on how strong the smell is. I appreciate the desire for a healthy snack, but how about taking into consideration the smell your snack is releasing?

2. Cold temperatures in the morning + very warm temperatures in the afternoon/evening = wardrobe confusion. Today I'm wearing boots, leggings, and a wrap dress but I know I'll be hot when I leave work. At least the powers that be are generous enough to keep the temp at 60, so I can just dress for cooler weather all year 'round.

3. Of course the new roof at home is being installed on my day off tomorrow. I am thrilled to park on the street since there will evidently be some sort of dumpster in the driveway. I'm excited to try and figure out the best way to exist the house to avoid falling debris. Grrr.

4. There's a radio/tv commercial for a local company that has been in heavy rotation lately, and any time I even think the name of the company, their jingle gets in my head and won't go away for days. Like, I'll try and see that annoying Five Dollar Foot-long commercial just to get it out of my head.

5. Someone removed me from their mass e-mail forward list about a month ago, and I was thrilled to have their elderly/lawyer/blonde/etc. "joke" forwards no longer clogging up my email box. Except that another person on the list has decided to forward me the forwards. . .I guess so I don't feel left out? Leave me out, person! I am no longer part of that group!

6. My brother's wife appears to be ignoring my friend request on FB. WTF, SIL? It's not like we're best friends, but seriously.

Ahhh. . .venting is a good way to dial down the stress!

Friday, March 13, 2009

5 of 25

Song 5: Love Me (Elvis Presley, 2nd to None)

I name my cars. My first car was a red Mazda 323, back before Mazda 323s were hatchback-only. His name was Sparky. Sparky lived a good life with me for a year of high school, all of college, and about a year of the real world until a speeding lady t-boned the Sparkster and me in an intersection.

My second car was a green Honda Civic, the sporty kind--I even had a (factory) spoiler on the back. I bought it on Elvis' birthday, so I decided to name that car Elvis. Elvis saved my life two days before my brother's wedding, when the driver of a huge truck got distracted and didn't notice me sitting in front of him or the stop light where I was parked. He didn't even slow down until his truck started to crush Elvis. Luckily, Elvis took the brunt of the impact and I actually walked away from the accident. Sure, my right shoulder was sprained (from the seat back slamming forward into the steering wheel) but I lived. And I can't say the same for Elvis' trunk and back seat--they were smashed flat.

My current car is a lady. Her name is Marino, because as soon as I saw the Honda color Red Marino, I knew I had to have a car that beautiful red. She's been with me for the past six and a half years, but this may be the year that I trade her in. If not, at least she's still running strong. . .at 114,000+ miles, too!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

4 of 25

Song 4: So Wrong (Patsy Cline, 12 Greatest Hits)

Oddly enough, I don't remember this song at all. So, instead, I'll have to talk about the time in my life when I got Patsy Cline's 12 Greatest Hits CD.

I was a sophmore or junior in college, and lived with a gal with whom I went to high school. Actually, I'd be in school with her since elementary, but wasn't really friends with her until high school. Her first year of college, she went to University of Michigan, hated it, and decided to transfer to UT. Her parents bought a condo/apartment on West Campus (good ol' 28th and Rio Grande) and we became roommates.

At first, everything went well. We got along, became friends (and/or girlfriends) of guys from a fraternity down the street, got to know a couple of neighbors in our small and surprisingly quiet complex. And then she went crazy. By our junior year, she barely spoke to me. I don't even remember a specific argument, I just remember her stalking off into her bedroom one day and almost never coming out. We communicated via notes on the fridge, something we'd started when we first moved in together. Our last year of college, I don't remember ever hearing a word from her, and I think I saw her once, on her way into her bedroom. Somewhere at my mom's house, there's a huge 3-inch notebook full of fridge notes. Perhaps they'd lend a clue to the roomie's behavior.

I know she even cut off contact with a mutual friend of ours who was her best friend growing up--a gal whose family lived next door to hers. Another mutual high school friend thought she graduated from UT and went to grad school in Chicago. Last I heard, roomie was a lawyer in Dallas. I'm probably going to have to stalk her on Facebook now. Just to see!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

3 of 25

Song 3: With or Without You (U2, the Best of 1980 - 1990)

This song was released in 1987. One of the remarkable things that happened in 1987 was the stock market crash known as Black Monday, which was October 19th. From the wikipedia article: "Debate as to the cause of the crash still continues many years after the event, with no firm conclusions reached."

Brace yourselves, because I'm going to solve the mystery: October 19, 1987 was my thirteenth birthday.

You heard it here, first. Is it any surprise, really, that I regularly tell people I was born in 1980?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

2 of 25

Song 2: Come What May (Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor, Moulin Rouge)

Hmm, this is a tough one. It's a little embarrassing that I own the Moulin Rouge soundtrack--especially since it's a two CD set. I usually hate girly or cheesy movies, but I really liked Moulin Rouge. Possibly because of that cutie-pie Ewan McGregor.

A lot of the songs from the movie are current songs sung in a different style. Like the tango version of "Roxanne" in Moulin Rouge. I've realized that many of the songs in my ipod are songs that have been covered by new performers in a different style than the original--and those are some of my favorites. The Recliners are (were?) a local band that I first heard in college, and even hired them for my wedding. They sing typical lounge-style songs like Frank Sinatra selections, but they also cover current songs in a lounge style. . .like "Back in Black" and "Fight For Your Right (to Party)." I also have a couple of CDs of hair band music covered acoustically (by the original artist). All favorites! Hmm. . .maybe I just like 80's songs re-done in different styles because I love 80's music. ha!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

1 of 25

Several friends have been doing the 25 Things About Me list that's been going around the internet from Facebook, and even though I haven't jumped on the FB bandwagon, I saw an interesting take on the idea that I am hoping will get me back into blogging.

Instead of just making a list of 25 things about me--which I imagine would be pretty easy, because who doesn't like to talk about themself?--I am going to hit up my ipod. I'll shuffle the songs, and use whatever comes up to inspire me to divulge something about myself. Like the idea? Try it! Here's my list:

Song 1: Chorus (Erasure, Pop! First 20 Hits)
Song 2: Come What May (Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor, Moulin Rouge)
Song 3: With or Without You (U2, the Best of 1980 - 1990)
Song 4: So Wrong (Patsy Cline, 12 Greatest Hits)
Song 5: Love Me (Elvis Presley, 2nd to None)
Song 6: Jungle Love (Steve Miller Band, Greatest Hits 1974 - 78)
Song 7: Blame (Doyle Bramhall II & Smokestack, Welcome)
Song 8: The Waiting (Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Greatest Hits)
Song 9: King of the Road (Roger Miller, Swingers Soundtrack)
Song 10: Again (Lenny Kravitz, Greatest Hits)
Song 11: One Way or Another (Blondie, Greatest Hits)
Song 12: Coast of Malabar (Chieftans, The Long Black Veil)
Song 13: Elephant Tears (Ian Moore, Got the Green Grass)
Song 14: Ramble On/Somewhere Over the Rainbow (Lisa Tingle, Hidden Track on Live at the Lucky Lounge)
Song 15: Rebel Yell (Billy Idol, 80's Hits Stripped)
Song 16: The Boxer (Simon & Garfunkel, The Concert in Central Park)
Song 17: More Than Words (Extreme, AHS Class Reunion CD)
Song 18: Joy of My Life (??, Wedding Tribute CD)
Song 19: Dance Hall Days (Wang Chung, Living in Oblivion)
Song 20: The Way You Look Tonight (Frank Sinatra, The Very Best of Frank Sinatra)
Song 21: Slow Ride (Beastie Boys, Licensed to Ill)
Song 22: 88 Lines About 44 Women (The Nails, Living in Oblivion)
Song 23: Rehab (Amy Winehouse, Back to Black)
Song 24: Ordinary World (Duran Duran, Greatest Hits)
Song 25: Shape I'm In (Arc Angels, Arc Angels)

So, Erasure. . ."Go ahead with your dreamin'. . ."
I typically remember my dreams when I wake up. So in high school, we have off-campus lunch. Once a week or so, my group of friends would go to Sonic--allegedly the only Sonic in American where you could go in, sit down, and order at the table--and I'd split a Brown Bag Special with my friend Melanie. We'd each have a burger, fries, and mints. Every night after my Sonic lunch, I'd have horrible nightmares, and of course I always remembered them. So, I did a very scientific experiment where I left out different items in my usual Sonic lunch to see what might be causing the nightmares. Turns out it was the fries + mint combo that gave me nightmares.