#9: Weeknight Dinner

Sometimes I feel overloaded with bacon at our house. I renewed K's Bacon of the Month subscription for this birthday, and then my brother and SIL gave him a package of treats that included bacon as a birthday gift. My kitchen smells like bacon a lot. (Not that I'm complaining!)

During the recent influx of bacon, I knew I needed to step it up from my usual BLTs or breakfasts for dinner. I'd made a Broccoli Cheese Quiche for a book club last weekend, and it was very tasty and well-received. K enjoyed the slice I saved for him, and suggested it would be even better with some Bacon Salt (one of the treats I'd stuffed his stocking with at Christmas). I decided that instead, it would be a good excuse to use up a package of bacon. K's review of the final product: "Holy Shit!" I celebrated my new recipe with a "I made delicious quiche" song/dance routine. Bacon is tasty!

Bacon Cheese Quiche (adapted from Weight Watchers, heehee!)

6 oz pie crust, 9-inch, refrigerated

1 package bacon

1/2 cup sweet onion, chopped
1 1/4 cup part-skim ricotta cheese
1 cup low-fat shredded cheddar cheese
1 large egg
2 large egg whites
1 Tbsp mustard (I used Sweet Hot Mister Mustard, because that's our favorite)
1/2 tsp black pepper, freshly ground, or more to taste
1 Tbsp grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 375ºF. Press pie crust into bottom and up sides of a 9-inch, removable-bottom tart pan or a 9-inch pie pan; refrigerate until ready to use. (I bought a pie crust from the frozen section, already in a pie tin, and let it defrost in the fridge while I was prepping.)

Cook bacon over medium-low heat in skillet until done. Remove bacon from pan*, and add onion to remaining bacon grease and sauté briefly, about a minute. Remove onion from pan and pat dry to remove extra grease. Crumble bacon when cool and set aside.

In a large bowl, add ricotta cheese, cheddar cheese, egg, egg whites, mustard and pepper; mix well and fold in bacon and onions. Spoon mixture into prepared crust and level surface with a wooden spoon; sprinkle top with Parmesan cheese.

Bake until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean, about 35 to 40 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes before slicing.

*When I remove bacon from the skillet, I put it on a plate covered with a paper towel and pat it dry with another paper towel. It gets rid of at least some of the grease.

#4: May Nephew Time

I may have a new favorite nephew.

Nephew 1 turns three towards the end of the month, and this weekend he was utterly delightful. On Sunday, we met for family lunch, and he was so fun to be around. He arrived wearing a Batman mask. Wearing a mask is a big deal for him. . .only a few months ago a mask or disguise of any kind freaked him out. But now he has decided that Batman is good (previously, he thought Batman was bad because of his "mean eyes") and should be imitated. When he is Batman, he walks with his fists on his hips--elbows out--and talks in a deep voice. While we waited at Lunch Location #1 (for an hour, only to be told it would be 45 more minutes, yikes!), he found a pile of dirt to pile up and sit in and play with. At Lunch Location #2, he was thrilled to see the train come out of its tunnel and drive on the tracks all around the room. He pointed it out every time, and more than once actually jumped for joy. As part of her gift package, my mom received a bag of jelly beans*. She was nice enough to share them with him, one at a time. He would select a bean from the bag, and ask what flavor it was. Mom wasn't wearing her glasses, and couldn't read the description on the bag, so she asked me to tell him. He was so excited to hear the different names, like "cotton candy" "juicy pear" and especially "chocolate pudding." Several times, he walked around the table telling the others what flavor he was about to eat. After a few, he started calling them "jumping beans." Perhaps because they made him feel like jumping around like a frog? K and I were about to leave when he said he wanted to go look at dogs. (Petsmart is a few doors down, and they were having an adoption fair.) He asked my mom if she would go with him, and then pointed to me and asked if I would go, too. How could I resist that little cutie pie? We walked down to see the dogs, and he let almost every single one of them lick his hand (or face). Many of them he proclaimed to be "nice dogs." He has a dog at home, so he knows how to pet them gently. So cute! I found out that he has been enjoying wearing sunglasses lately, and calls them his "rock out" glasses.

The little man, who turned one in March, was in fairly good spirits, although sleepy when they arrived and sleepy as we were leaving. My dad hogged him during the wait at Lunch Location #1--actually intercepting him when SIL was handing him to me. Like he doesn't see him every week! (grumble) The little guy still loves to stare at K, with the little triangle of facial hair. This time, he and K played a sunglasses game. Little guy would put on his sunglasses, and look at K. K would put on his sunglasses, and peep over the top at little guy. Little guy would try to peep over his, but kept dropping them off his face. And then he would poke himself in the eye a couple of times putting them back on. Bleah, eye-poking gives me the heebie-geebies. The little guy also points/pokes to his eye if you ask him where his eye is. . .or where his nose is. . .or where his mouth or ears are. The jury is still out on whether he just thinks that's a funny joke or if he hasn't quite figured out the names that go with each part. Later, SIL force-fed the little guy a bite of cobbler. She kept insisting he try it, and he kept his lips sealed, shaking his head from side to side. Eventually, she crammed it in and he ended up liking it. But. . .later K and I had a conversation about never force-feeding our future kids dessert, so that was productive. Little guy also enjoyed feeding himself BBQ sauce with a spoon. A man after his dad's own heart. I was a little disappointed that the little fella didn't let me hold him very long--maybe 5 minutes--when I'm usually one of his favorites. And that's why his big brother is starting to overtake my favorite nephew position. haha! Whoever likes me best, I also like best. ;o)

*K and I visited and toured the Jelly Belly factory when we went to San Francisco in 2005. If you have the means, I highly recommend it.

So, there's that.

I'm having a pity party, and everyone is invited!

Last weekend, I had lunch with a few close girlfriends to celebrate one of their birthdays. I've known these gals my entire life, pretty much, and am glad that they're all back in Austin after living across the country (and world, in one case). These are my girls. We've been through it all together. But. . .this lunch was the first time that I really felt excluded from them. One of them, E, has two sons--the oldest just turned 4 and the younger is almost 16 months. Another, A, has an 8 month old girl. And the other, M, is six months pregnant. We're throwing M a baby shower this summer, so during dessert, talk naturally turned to planning. I've thrown baby showers for the other girls (and other friends), but when A started talking (lecturing) about bottles/pacifiers/baby paraphenalia, I wanted to leave the table. I know M took E with her to register, and it makes sense that she'd want someone with her who has a lot of recent mothering experience. Friend A had apparently already looked up her registry online, and had a lot of advice about things that worked for her, so M mentioned having them both look over her list when she's finished. During the entire conversation, the 3 of them pretty much ignored me. Which. . .I suppose I understand, but it still hurt my feelings.

I know the three of them talk and see each other often without me. M and E are best friends, much more so since E moved back to Austin two years ago. (Why yes, M and I were closer when E lived across the country.) E and A don't work, so they are available to spend time together during the days, when I am otherwise engaged at the office. I admit that every time I hear about them getting together without me, I feel a little bit left out. On the other hand, I am not making an effort to see them outside of our group gatherings, either. Yes, I think I'm a little jealous that they all seem to want to spend time in small groups of two without me, but I also could be calling them all the time to get together. This is where the tiny pity party voice says "I should call because it's not like they're calling ME." So, there's that.

But the baby shower/registry thing was different. Yes, I want to have kids, and it hasn't happened yet. I don't expect my friends to try and walk on eggshells around me because of that--they really don't even know, which is the way I want it. But, I feel like I've been supportive during my friend's pregnancy--emailing her about her dr's appointments, keeping up with her progress, etc. And it's like she is moving into motherhood and she's leaving me behind. I'm feeling sorry for myself, and that's making me want to retreat from my friends. Particularly in the case of the baby shower planning. When A took over the conversation to ask M lots of questions about the baby shower--and suggest crafts she had already started planning--I wanted to say "no one wants to make hand-sewn onesies, can you let someone else get a word in edgewise?" But I kept my control issues on party planning quiet. The tiny voice was proud of me for that concession. If she wants to do all the work--the work I usually do--then fine. I can tell she's feeling out-of-sorts because she isn't working, so if she needs a project, she can have it. That sounds mean in my head, though. When am I suddenly the kid who picks up her toys and goes home?

So why am I feeling sorry for myself? Because it feels like my friends don't want to spend time with me? Because I am not pregnant yet? Because I like to be in charge of all things party planning related? Because it's annoying to listen to lectures on appropriate/good things for a baby (and heaven forbid that I received this lecture when I actually am pg because I might not have an appropriate response)? I feel like I need to just get over myself and let it go. I'm hoping that getting it all out will help.

*****
Only tangentially related:

On Sunday, at church, the lady in front of me started crying.

Quite a bit of the sermon was Mother's Day focused, and at the end, the priest invited all the children in the congregation up to the front to watch him crown a statue of Mary. There was a children's choir for the service, so during the crowning, a little girl sang "Ave Maria." It was lovely; since our wedding, that song always brings a tear to my eye. After the tiny crown was placed on the statue, the priest indicated that the children could touch the statue. I'm not sure why he encouraged this, or what he told them, but we soon saw each of the children in the crowd around the altar move towards the statue and give it a poke or a pet or--in one small girl's case--a full-on hug that required her to be pried away by her mom. I felt a little sentimental during the display, thinking about having a child, and being a mom.

And then I noticed that the woman in front of me was crying. I could tell by her shaking shoulders, and the way she kept wiping her face near her eyes. I could see that her husband was also suffering--he held his quiviering chin tightly and also wiped his eyes a time or two. Neither of them made a sound.

I wanted to reach out and squeeze her shoulder, maybe whisper that I'd keep her in my prayers, but I didn't want to intrude on their private moment. In fact, I started to second-guess what I'd assumed was the reason for her tears. My gut reaction told me that she and her husband were aching for a child of their own, but I realized that I might be only thinking of myself. Maybe she had lost her mother. Perhaps she remembers the Ave Maria from her own wedding, and they're having a hard time right now. I didn't know, and I didn't want to call attention to her suffering by acknowledging that I saw her cry.

Instead, she will be in my thoughts. Lady, it will be okay. Whatever it is, it will be okay. We will just keep telling ourselves it will be okay until it is okay.

#31 Reading

My book club selection for this month was The Last Days of Dogtown, by Anita Diamant. Diamant is also the author of The Red Tent, which I read years ago and loved, so I had high hopes for Dogtown. I was a little disappointed. The characters are very well written in this novel, and I was engaged in their stories. But the stories are depressing! I think maybe one of the main characters has a happy ending. And of course I know that's the way the real world works, and life was tough in the 19th century. But a bit more hope would've been nice. I am glad our book club chose this book, though, and I think it ranks among the best-written stories we've read.

From Publisher's Weekly:
Fans of Diamant's The Red Tent who were disappointed by her sophomore effort (Good Harbor) will be happy to find her back on historical turf in her latest, set in early 1800s Massachusetts. Inspired by the settlement of Dogtown, Diamant reimagines the community of castoffs—widows, prostitutes, orphans, African-Americans and ne'er-do-wells—all eking out a harsh living in the barren terrain of Cape Ann. Black Ruth, the African woman who dresses like a man and works as a stonemason; Mrs. Stanley, who runs the local brothel, and Judy Rhines, an unmarried white woman whose lover Cornelius is a freed slave, are among Dogtown's inhabitants who are considered suspect—even witches—by outsiders. Shifting perspectives among the various residents (including the settlement's dogs, who provide comfort to the lonely), Diamant brings the period alive with domestic details and movingly evokes the surprising bonds the outcasts form in their dying days. This chronicle of a dwindling community strikes a consistently melancholy tone—readers in search of happy endings won't find any here—but Diamant renders these forgotten lives with imagination and sensitivity.

#9: Weeknight Dinner

Breakfast for dinner again! Just thinking about breakfast food has me craving brown sugar cinnamon oatmeal--the kind from a mix that is barely healthy. Mmmm.

We finished the remainder of this month's Bacon of the Month, which was hickory smoked bacon from J. Samuel Whiting Smokehouse in Pennsylvania. That's right, we've been receiving bacon from around the country for a year now, and I just signed K up for another year membership. Why mess with the best birthday gift ever, when it can just be repeated? Since his gift already arrived, and his birthday is early next week, I am thinking about looking for a little something else. Since I stocked him up with plenty of silly little bacon-related gifts at Christmas, I think I'll opt for something else.

#5: Finish Wedding CD for M--Almost!

I knew this would be a tough project, but I'm finally getting much closer to completion on my friend M's wedding CD.

It has become a tradition in our small group of close girlfriends to compile a CD to celebrate each gal's wedding. Each of us (except the bride) contributes songs that remind them of the bride, or the bride and groom, or even just love songs. Each writes a note to the bride, and one person is in charge of compiling the songs and notes into a CD and package--which is then presented to the bride, with copies for the rest of us. M is the most organized of our group, and she handled the CD responsibility for three of our weddings. So when she got married a year ago, I took over the project. And now I know why it takes her so long to get the CDs ready! Since I had this item on my list, and her one year anniversary just passed, I have been pestering the other gals weekly for the past month. Finally, I have a song list and note from everyone except one hold out. . .and she will likely take a lot more pestering. I know she's super busy, with her two little boys and all of the activities she's involved with, but as I've mentioned in my weekly emails I really want to finish this up by the end of the month!

I guess I will go ahead and select the songs I'm planning to contribute. haha! I gave myself the luxury of waiting until everyone else turned in their songs so I wouldn't duplicate any other contributions, and so I would know how many songs we'd need to fill out the CD. Since one of the gals decided to only submit one song (the same song that she also submitted for two other CDs), I may need to opt for more than 4 selections. Time to hit the itunes!

#33: Health Check In

I seem to keep losing and gaining the same two pounds over and over again! This week, they're lost. I think I'm going to start weighing myself every other week. . .and hopefully I'll actually lose more than those two pesky ones.

Part of what has been working for me this week is eating small snacks during the day, so I'm eating roughly every two - three hours. When I began dieting before my wedding, I read the South Beach diet book and remembered the snacking plan as a way to boost metabolism. I'm not starting back on the South Beach diet full force (yet), but I have cut waaaay back on sweets. I think the snacking might be helping--I've woken up hungry every morning this week, which is good. I think the biggest benefit of SB for me at this point would be the two-week detox period. I already make mostly healthier choices regarding the food I eat than I did 4 years ago.

This past week, I have not been doing well with exercise at all. I only worked out once, with K. I did the core master video and worked out with resistance bands. Usually we work out together most evenings, but he wasn't feeling well towards the past few days. Naturally, I used that as my excuse not to work out. I may be the laziest person alive.

Last night I dreamt that K & I were staying with his parents (like we did last weekend). In my dream, I had just showered and was dressing in our (his childhood) bedroom. MIL walked in, pointed at my stomach area, and said "You're cookin' a baby in there." I replied, "No, I'm just carrying a few extra pounds." Then I went to her closet to help her pick out clothes for a cruise before I woke up. Hmm, what might this mean. . .either I really want to have a baby or I'm self-conscious about my middle. Yep, it's both. Funny that in the dream I didn't feel bothered about her walking in while I was dressing!

Tomorrow, the 19th, will be six months of working on my list! I selected an end date so that I'd complete the list on a big birthday, but I can't believe that my time is 25% complete. Yikes! I'm certainly doing better in some areas than others.