#4: The Other Nephews

My brother's two boys live in Kyle, so when I listed my goal of spending quality time with the nephews once a month, I had them in mind. I met each of them the day they were born, and want to have a strong relationship with them as they grow up--luckily, that will be easier since their family lives in the Austin area.

But I actually have five other nephews, who became my nephews when K and I married. Two of them, I have never met. K's brother (who is the oldest sibling in their family) married very young and had two boys. He left his wife and was not part of their family (his choice) until the boys decided to seek him out once they reached high school. By this time, K & I had started dating, but as far as I know, the boys never visited his brother more than a handful of times. They are both in their early or mid-twenties now (barely younger than me, weird!), and at least one of them has his own family. My MIL tries to keep in touch with them, and occasionally reports that she's visited with them via phone, but I honestly don't know all the inner-workings of the relationships and suspect it is in everyone's best interest that K's brother isn't involved in their lives. He's. . .difficult, at best.

However, K's brother has another son with his second wife. This son (J) is 13, and K's godson. Over the years, K has tried to be involved in J's life and remain a positive influence, but living in seperate cities makes it difficult. (Their family lives in SE Texas.) Now that J is getting older, he has email and his own cell phone, and K can keep in touch a little better. This past weekend, we went into their hometown for a visit, and K made a point of seeking out quality time with J. Unfortunately, it almost didn't happen. The past week at school, J got sent to detention for talking in class. (Which is surprising to me because he's a very shy kid and almost never talks during family gatherings.) J's dad decided that, as punishment, he was restricted from playing musical instruments for a week outside of school. Harsh punishment for J--he plays guitar, saxaphone, clarinet, and several others. Plus, he's a member of the Jazz Band at school and has a performance on the 17th. K had asked if he could get together with J for some time on Sunday and play guitar, but J's dad "forgot" about K's request when they came over to the IL's house and J didn't have his guitar (actually, he hadn't even heard about K's request). Luckily, K was able to convince J to give him a reprieve for an hour. We rarely visit their hometown apart from Christmas, and playing guitar together is a great way for K and J to connect. I was able to get some good photos and video of them playing together. During the visit, I was thinking it would be fun for J to come to Austin to visit us this summer, and in the car on the way home K mentioned the same thing. K's brother started down a scary path of bad decisions in his teen years, and I think K wants to fill the positive role model void for J. We need to working out timing and a bunch of other logistics--not the least of which will be getting J's parents to agree to the trip--but I hope it works out.

One of K's sisters has two sons, AM & CM. Her oldest son just turned 18, and his high school prom was this weekend. He and his date were having photos taken on Saturday afternoon, so we were able to swing by the park and take some pics of them (and see K's sister) before the festivites got under way. AM seems to be a really sweet kid. He did not have an easy childhood, but he has grown into a smart, polite young man. And his girlfriend also seemed very nice, and not at all hoochie. ha! Although one of his pals at the park was obnoxious and irritating. Ugh, I have little patience for high school kids who think it's funny/ironic to wear a powder-blue tux, doo-rag, and fedora to their prom. Not to mention the endless stream of annoying chatter the kid kept up during the photos. I guess it's official: I'm old. Anyway. . .AM is trying for a baseball scholarship to college next year, but it's not looking promising. He had a serious arm (shoulder? elbow?) injury at the end of his sophmore year, so after surgery and rehab, he's been taken out of the pitching line-up and the coaches are no longer playing him much. I hope something works out for him. K mentioned that if he ended up going to UT, we should consider letting him live with us for a year to help him/his mom save $$, but that would require a lot of discussion & rule-making on our part. His dad (divorced from JM's mom) is not able to contribute financially as far as I know, though he is a strong supporter and tries to stay very involved in AM's life.

CM, who is AM's half-brother and my youngest nephew on that side, is a character. He's 12, and pretty much the polar opposite of J. He plays baseball, too, and we went to one of his games on Saturday evening. He's the biggest (tallest) kid on the field. He's a great hitter, and pretty good fielder (not that I know the name of his position. . .somewhere sort of close to 2nd base but not the second baseman? maybe short stop?) and had some great plays. Too bad the kid's dad is a total asshole. He pushes CM, even though CM has been complaining of a sore thumb (on his catching hand) and elbow (on his pitching hand) for weeks. CM's dad is remarried, and hated by K's family. Luckily MIL finds the patience to deal with the louse, and got him to tentatively agreed to join her when she takes CM to a specialist next week about his thumb and elbow. I hope it works out. Apparently, as one of the coaches on the team, CM's dad can force his hurt kid to play without a word from the other 2 coaches. K had a talk with CM about how he can listen to his body, and if he doesn't feel like he is healthy enough to play, he should refuse. As in, if he's made to take the field, he should not make any plays. I hope CM takes his advice to heart. He & his mom have talked about moving to another city for a new start, so if they do go through with the plan, it will be good and bad for him. Good because they'll be away from the assclown, and living closer to Austin. Bad because they'll be away from their strong support system (ILs), and K's sister will have to deal with selling their house, buying a new one, and finding a new job. Not easy! She says her main reason for the move is to get CM involved in a sports program where he can excel. . .but is that really the best reason to move? Seems like a lot of pressure on a kid, to me. When CM mentioned moving, I asked him what he thought about it, and I think it was the first time anyone had asked his opinion. He said it might be okay. I hope it is.